Skreyttur stolnum fjöðrum

Hér er tvennt sem hefur fengið mig til að glotta í annríki dagsins.

Vond lénanöfn

Upptalning nokkurra mjög óheppilegra lénanafna (via Mezzoblue).

Dæmi: the Mole Station Native Nursery, í New South Wales: www.molestationnursery.com

Vondar upphafssetningar

Varríus vísar á úrslit "An international literary parody contest"; Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest 2006 Results.

Keppnin gengur út á að skrifa vondar upphafssetningar ímyndaðra skáldsagna. Upplýsingasíða keppninnar gæti hæglega tekið þátt í keppni vondra uppsetninga vefsíðna (ein af þessum sem maður er aldrei viss hvort á að vera paródía á hallærislegar vefsíður). En ef maður skrollar niður undir miðja síðu er að finna þar sögu keppninnar, mjög skemmtilega skrifaðan prósa.

Annars eru hér nokkur af mínum uppáhöldum meðal sigurvegara (og/eða "Dishonorable Mentions"):

It was a day, like any other day, in that Linus got up, faced the sunrise, used his inhaler, applied that special cream between his toes, wrote a quick note and put it in a bottle, and wished he'd been stranded on the island with something other than 40 cases each of inhalers, decorative bottles, and special toe cream.
Chris Harget
Campbell, CA
It was a dreary Monday in September when Constable Lightspeed came across the rotting corpse that resembled one of those zombies from Michael Jackson's "Thriller," except that it was lying down and not performing the electric slide.
Derek Fisher
Ottawa, ON
A single sparkling tear fell from Little Mary's cheek onto the sidewalk, then slid into the storm drain, there to join in its course the mighty waters of the Los Angeles River and, eventually, Long Beach Harbor, with its state-of-the-art container-freight processing facilities.
Bill Mac Iver
Berkeley, CA
Lisa moved like a cat, not the kind of cat that moves with a slinky grace but more like the kind that always falls off the book shelf when he's washing himself and then gets all mad at you like it's your fault (which it wasn't although it probably was kind of mean to laugh at him like that), although on the bright side, she hardly ever attacked Ricky's toes in his sleep.
Debra Allen
Wichita Falls, TX
Despite the vast differences it their ages, ethnicity, and religious upbringing, the sexual chemistry between Roberto and Heather was the most amazing he had ever experienced; and for the entirety of the Labor Day weekend they had sex like monkeys on espresso, not those monkeys in the zoo that fling their feces at you, but more like the monkeys in the wild that have those giant red butts, and access to an espresso machine.
Dennis Barry
Dothan, AL
Kathy, who had bound her breasts and cropped her hair, and lied about her gender to join a monastery of Jesuits in northern Kentucky, until she was discovered one night in the shower, winced as the dentist pulled her tooth.
Terry Johnson
Tularosa, NM

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Athugasemdir (2)

1.

Varríus reit 18. júlí 2006:

Íslandsmetið í óheppilegum urlum á væntanlega Suzuki-umboðið, www.suzukibilar.is

2.

Þórarinn sjálfur reit 18. júlí 2006:

Suzuki-umboðið kemur a.m.k. "sterkt inn" í þessari keppni.

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Lokað er fyrir athugasemdir eftir 30 daga.

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